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Alexander Residence: Little Legacy #2 On Marriage

Thursday, 14 July 2011

Little Legacy #2 On Marriage

Last week I posted my first Little Legacy and it was lovely to be joined by some other fabulous bloggers, do check them out.    I loved the variety of everyone's legacies: a mixture of objects, sayings, rituals, habits.  There's no right or wrong answer.  It's simply about celebrating little legacies, building up a picture of someone though small details.  If something triggers a particular legacy, whether it's an old post or a new post, just go for it.  Mine are coming thick and fast now I have started, and reading other people's posts got me thinking of lots of new ones.

So Little Legacy #2 On Marriage

At my wedding my mum chose to read from Kahil Gibran's the Prophet. One line has always stuck with me, have a look at the picture I took in my kitchen earlier, and have a guess which one:

Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow. 

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.  Mum wanted us to know that relationships need space.  It's a metaphor of course, but every time I look in the bread bin I see a literal reminder of the spaces in Mr A and my togetherness.  Guess which loaf is mine and which is his?

Of course when I am having a bad day or feeling ill I will push aside wholemeal for a slice of hot buttered, white sliced Hovis, or cotton wool bread, as my mum used to call it.  She baked her own brick like, but beautiful, wholemeal loaves throughout most of our childhood, so sliced white bread was the fluffy work of satan.  

Despite his love of cotton wool bread, mum was very fond of Mr A. This poem will always remind me of that, and of her hopes for our life together.
Credit Martin O Neil

All that from looking in the bread bin.  The subconscious is a powerful place.

little legacy A small thing handed down by a predecessor

Little legacy is a remembrance project , a positive and creative space, to celebrate small things handed down by predecessors.  I am going to post one every Thursday. If you want to join me at any point, either as a project or a one off, there's more information here and a space to link up below. 

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At 14 July 2011 at 10:56 , Anonymous Midlife Singlemum said...

It's so lovely that something as mundane as the bread in your bread-bin can be seen as a lttle legacy - I think that's great!

At 14 July 2011 at 20:37 , Blogger Rachel Faith said...

The pillars of bread stand apart - lovely thought. One of my favourite books, which also contains much wisdom on the subject of children.

At 14 July 2011 at 21:26 , Blogger mumsarcade said...

Very deep poem as all his stuff is. Very good advice from a mum on marriage too. I love the idea of this meme and will be joining in regularly I think if ok with you

At 14 July 2011 at 21:34 , Blogger mumsarcade said...

Do you have a badge or button or whatever you call them for Little Legacies so that we can promote this great idea as we link up?

At 15 July 2011 at 13:09 , Blogger mumsarcade said...

sorry I did not give it enough time so seem to have posted twice to linky thing. Please feel free to remove one

At 17 July 2011 at 12:05 , Blogger Emma said...

We had the same "breadism" in our house... cotton wool bread was only bought for my dad, we weren't allowed to touch it! I still prefer wholemeal, but like you, sometimes I think you can't beat white bread toasted (with a little golden syrup and plenty of butter!!)... Love Little Legacies! Emma :)

At 17 July 2011 at 21:29 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

good lord, i will never look at my breadbin in the same way again!

At 28 July 2011 at 14:02 , Blogger Ms Brightside said...

This is fantastic Penny, making me weepy. It's already 4 years since I lost my Dad & often think of his little legacies. Putting them on paper is so Iovely & important, because they can be lost so easily, will follow your lead soon. Well done

At 31 October 2011 at 21:22 , Anonymous Mummy Matters said...

Your Mum was clearly a very intelligent, very caring person and I am sure that she blessed the lives of all she touched. That is a beautiful poem and one which I need to remember xx


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