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And she got off at Macclesfield Little Legacy 25

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Alexander Residence: And she got off at Macclesfield Little Legacy 25

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

And she got off at Macclesfield Little Legacy 25


She was sophistication personified
an angel with hazel eyes
unmoved by my yearning
to my passion burning
her indifference would not yield
as the train stopped
my hopes dropped
and she got off at Macclesfield

This week I went home.  I call it home, it's not where I live, but it's where I grew up. For the first time in years I went by train, which reminded me of this poem which always makes me smile.  This week's little legacy is about the place where my mum and dad decided to disembark in 1984, and call home.

I arrived on Monday at the train station.  Sadly the last time I was there, we were collecting my brother, who'd arrived from London, shortly after mum died. I've written poems about that moment, too personal to share here, but wonderfully therapeutic.  But this time I surprised myself, I smiled, thinking of all the times mum was there to greet me there and of her elaborate waving off rituals.

I went home to look after my dad.  He was having a routine operation so he was in and out in a day, but needed a bit of TLC.  So I also walked the corridors of the hospital my mum worked in, and where she spent some of her last weeks, this time last year.  That felt okay, I had been nervous I would go to pieces, but I didn't feel that way. This time I could also remember happier times, meeting mum for lunch in the hospital canteen and walking home through the hospital from secondary school.

While I was home, I met up with an old school friend who has just bought a house near my Dad, I walked along the street where I went to Brownies, and the place where mum collected our child benefit.  So many little snippets of memory hidden amongst the backstreets I grew up in.  Even though we've not seen each other for a couple of years, and not since mum died, my friend and I slipped into easy conversation, reminiscing, over sloe gins, until the early hours of the morning. 

Until recently I've avoided wandering too much when I've been home, thinking it would be painful.  My friend suggested maybe it could be the opposite, it would bring me closer to my mum.

She was right, it did.


Little legacy is a remembrance project , a positive and creative space, to celebrate small things handed down by predecessors. Feel free to link up a little legacy you've been thinking about this week, or to leave one in the comments. Here's the code and here's more on Little Legacy

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At 5 January 2012 at 08:23 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

So glad how you have done this, happy memories are always the best, even normal every day ones are lovely too.

Train stations are funny places, but I love going on the train. After my Mum died just a couple of days actually my brother then just 16 and I caught the train to Bristol. Just a short journey from Bath but I can remember the relief of pulling away from Bath in the train. It was a strange feeling but one when things just for a few hours lifted away from us both.

I went to John Lewis and brought a duvet cover, it was grey perhaps to suit my mood.

Now I love the train perhaps for that reason but I wouldn't buy a grey duvet cover now.

Take care, your a doing so well and no doubt with the help of those wonderful foundations your Mum gave you. xxxxxx

At 5 January 2012 at 09:13 , Blogger Here come the girls said...

That's lovely. I guess you can't know what things are going to bring you pain and which comfort.
Hope your dad is alright now and has recovered.

Love that poem by the way. I've never heard it before.

At 5 January 2012 at 09:25 , Anonymous HonestMum said...

What a beautiful post and poem. Good you can start remembering the good times as grief becomes a little more bearable. Thinking of you and hoping your Dad gets better soon

At 5 January 2012 at 11:35 , Blogger Midlife Singlemum said...

I'm so glad Little Legacies is continuing into the new year. I love reading your legacies and it makes me think about my own - or even ones that I want to start for DD.

At 5 January 2012 at 11:42 , Blogger The Alexander Residence said...

Ali - thanks for sharing that little legacy, it was lovely to read it. Familiar train stations are funny places aren't they? You never quite know what memories they will jog. Pxxx

At 5 January 2012 at 11:43 , Blogger The Alexander Residence said...

Rebecca - he's doing fine, glad i got to keep him company, did me the world of good to take time out from home too! It's a fab poem isn't it? xxx

At 5 January 2012 at 11:44 , Blogger The Alexander Residence said...

Honest Mum - thank you, yes I've felt a real change recently :)

At 5 January 2012 at 11:46 , Blogger The Alexander Residence said...

MLSM - Yes, my Memory Box project plans are stuck in the New Year fog, need a little more nurturing! But I'm not done with LLs yet ;)

At 5 January 2012 at 13:26 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lovely post as always and I sense you are moving into a new phase of grief. It is a strange and fascinating journey.
Just over Christmas I actually had to remind myself just how long ago we lost Mum. In a way, that felt disloyal but in another way very healthy too. I am that bit further down the path than you.
Your post triggered memories of the hospital my Mum worked in being sort of next door to my secondary school. Other things too which I will perhaps post about.
You help me so much

At 5 January 2012 at 23:10 , Blogger Super Amazing Mum (Super AM) said...

I detect a slight shift as well in your postings, although I still find reading these so, so moving. I quite often go back to where I grew up in Clapham and sneak up the back alley of my old grandparents house to sneak a peek and feel close to them...One day, I will pluck up the courage to knock on the door and speak with the new owner...memories are not just mental images but physical as well I find xxx

Big Love

At 6 January 2012 at 07:39 , Blogger BavarianSojourn said...

Another wonderful post. So pleased you were able to gain some comfort from your visit as well. It's amazing how places alone can make you feel closer to someone isn't it? Hope your dad is fully recovered too! Emma :)

At 6 January 2012 at 11:53 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's tough finding things that remind you of your mum, or watching your dad pass on things to you that were once hers.
The tatty old Scrabble box talked about here was one of those things. Benign, but jammed full of memories for me.

At 8 January 2012 at 21:28 , Blogger The Alexander Residence said...

kate and SAM - you are both right, I do feel I am moving on, and coming home was a good place to admit to that. Kate disloyal and healthy, spot on thanks that helps, glad it helps you too. SAM, love that image of you, and so true about the physical.

At 8 January 2012 at 21:29 , Blogger The Alexander Residence said...

Emma thank you, he's doing good. Definitely!
save every step - I love your memory project :)

At 8 January 2012 at 21:33 , Blogger The Alexander Residence said...

THANK YOU ALL Soooooo appreciate all these comments, can't tell you how much it helps me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

At 8 January 2012 at 21:43 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Penny - I wrote part of that novel of mine this week so much inspired by you saying I should get on with it. Hope we get to meet one day


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