The real Alexander Residence

I actually googled Alexander Residence this week, I know it is something you should do before you pick a web address, in case someone already uses your name, and they're something unsavoury (I am not going to spell it out any further as I can guess where all my google traffic will come from). Anyway it turns out the Alexander Residence is a 5* hotel in Scotland.  So, it is probably the Alexander Residence hotel that wouldn't want to be associated with us, rather than vice versa.  This got me thinking about the differences:

Well we are definitely not five star, but as you can see the staff are enthusiastic and cheerful and ready to take your call should you want to make a booking. 

It won't be relaxing or luxurious.  The interior is however, artfully decorated with an array of discarded toys and some walls are even hand painted in crayon by local artists.   There are stunning and breathtaking views of inconsistent parenting in action. The Alexander Residence is ideally located for the park, soft play centre and other children's amenities.  With the second highest concentration of under fives in the UK you are sure to feel at home (or want to run screaming for the hills).

We can offer a laundry service:

We also do a fine line in afternoon tea:

The head chef at work:

The kitchens:

 Come and stay a while. 

We await your call and look forward to welcoming you.