Relax Kids - Is happiness a skill you can learn?

Who doesn't want their child to sleep well, to be calm, imaginative, creative and confident?  That's what I strive for every single day.  It's what I worry I'm not doing right, or enough.  It's what niggles me most about parenting, that bigger picture of raising fully rounded, happy human beings.

We have been testing a Relax Kids meditation CD and I am really impressed.  I think it's something magical, something simple, something really special.  Relax Kids books and CDs are designed to help children of all ages sleep better, develop imagination, creativity and confidence.  I am really excited about the effect it is having on my two.

Miss L is four so we were given the Superhero Fairytale Meditation CD.  For last month we have put it on after we have finished reading her bedtime stories.  From the most enchanting music emerges the most relaxing, soothing voice, who narrates Miss L into being Aladdin floating on a carpet, to being Jack climbing the beanstalk, to being Peter Pan flying.

Miss L never has any problems falling asleep, but I do think she has seemed much calmer about being in her room at night.  We have gone through the loss of my mum in this time, so there has been more anxiety.  The Superhero CD suited us because it specifically tackles anxiety. 

Miss L has developed hugely in the last month in terms of emotional intelligence and confidence with new situations.  After months of crying about pre-school she suddenly skips happily out of the door.  Her ability to tell stories has developed rapidly and she is continually making up new songs.  I am fascinated that she has made leaps and bounds at a difficult time, when I would have expected her to regress.   The afirmations, relaxation techniques and visualisations used are all proven techniques in encouraging mental and emotional health.

L has her own CD player in her room which she can operate herself.  She has always listened to a classic FM for babies or a story CD at bedtime until now.  Now she chooses Superhero Magical Meditations.  There are also fairytale and princess meditations for this age group, and a more grown up Chill Skills range for 7-11 year olds.  Specific CDs also tackle issues such as hyperactivity, concentration, sleep, self esteem, anxiety, anger, emotions, motivation.

Although younger than the target audience, 2 yo Mr G moved from a cot to a bed in the last month, and was struggling to settle, so we tried the CD a few times.  He settled beautifully listening to it.  He has since given up his lunchtime nap.  I am going to try the CD out with them both at lunchtimes, because I know they need the rest as much as I do.  That or I will curl up and hide myself in Miss L's bed and repeat after the CD:

'It feels good to be calm. I enjoy being peaceful.  I like being silent.' 

I can also see it being great in the car.  Plus I would like to try the 21 day Relax Kids plan to calm the whole family.  On that note, I'm just listening to the Peter Pan track as I type.  I am visualising having just landed in a tree.  Magic stuff.   Now I am spinning and zig zagging over fluffy white clouds.  I am free.  I absolutely love it. 

Check out http://www.relaxkids.com/ and listen to a snippet here.


I received a sample copy in exchange for this post.  I only review things that are meaningful to me.

Reinventing the Fairy Story

Once upon a Christmas, a Queen bought Mixed Up Fairy Stories for 4yo Princess L:

Make your own fairy story

It's turned out to be brilliant on so many levels. It is really firing her imagination and encouraging her to invent her own stories.  I love it because I struggle with fairy stories that lack girl power.  I'm with Fiona in Shrek 4 who said life isn't a fairytale and that she rescued herself from the tower.   Miss L did get a Rapunzel doll for Christmas, but I don't want her to think life is about sitting in towers waiting for a prince to come and rescue you.  Fairy stories need reinventing.

Best of all it seems to be right on her humour wavelength, I have never seen her laugh so much at the silly scenarios she has created.  However, this was the scenario that made me and Mr A laugh:

Blimey Cinders!



Mixed Up Fairy Stories by Hilary Robinson.  Illustrated by Nick Sharratt.

Anyway is it just me who thinks some fairy stories need mixing up? 

Listography

Kate at Kate Takes 5 has a fab new linky idea, Listography.  What.  a.  brilliant.  idea.  I love a good list.  I spend lots of time writing them so I can lose, abuse and ignore them.

This week the theme is top five good things about having children.  Now this is a list I sometimes lose sight of, so it is very good to come back to it:

1. Children live in the now.  After an early morning flight to Spain earlier this year we found ourselves surrounded by grumpy adults in a slow moving hire car queue. Our kids had everyone smiling again as they pushed each other round on their car seats.  Kids can create magic anywhere, whereas adults waste time waiting for it to start.

2. The joy of playing. I've blogged a bit about this in 2010. Kackel Dackel and Sindy houses. Need I say more?  I reckon you've had enough now of toilet humour.

3. Creativity. I love to paint, stick, glue and glitter alongside children. Children don't give into their inner critic as easily as adults. As a result they are prolific artists who derive huge pleasure from creating.

4.  Let's pretend.  I love children's unihibited ability to play and pretend.  As a Drama teacher I was continually amazed by it.  It's something actors spend ages trying to channel themselves back into.

5. Children's stories. Whether in books, in your head, in their head, on stage, film or TV the magical world of storytelling is a fantastic place to visit.

Kate was right, lists do tell a lot about a person don't they? As I do this the kids are half watching Shrek, there are umpteen million paintings drying in the kitchen.  One is playing mummies and daddies and the other is wielding an Aquadraw set.  It's also been a day with its fair share of stresses, but this reminds me it's so good to pull out the positives.

Looking forward to reading everyone else's lists.

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From play to performance

It's the first week I have joined the Sleep is for the Weak writing workshop and I have been meaning to for so long.  I'm trying to fit in an OU Diploma in Creative Writing, although I keep finding myself blogging instead of doing coursework.  Maybe the writing workshop is a good compromise?

The writing prompts are all to do with remembering and childhood.  This is a mix of seeing the nursery show from my child's perspective (prompt 3), which stimulated some 'bittershiny' baubles of memory of my own childhood experiences of performing (prompt one).

Miss L
Mummy is it nursery today?  Is it the show?  I don't want to be in the show.  I don't want to sing Beatles songs, I want to sing 12345 Once I caught a fish alive.  I don't like it when all the mummies and daddies are staring at me.  It's too loud.  I don't know where we are.  This hall is huge.  Why are we in the church for the show?  Why aren't we in nursery? Everyone is looking at me.  This is where we do playgroup.  With Mummy.  I miss Mummy.  I want to be with Mummy.  I'm poorly. 

Me
Year 1-  I am standing in the school hall at lunch time, small and excited and fresh from running round the playground.  My best friend has dragged me in to audition for the choir.  The teacher hits a note on the piano, it reverberates off the polished wood floors and across to the wall where the pull out wooden climbing frame is fixed.  It sounds beautiful.  She asks me to sing the note back, I do, loud and proud and full of enthusiasm.  She tells me 'No'.  I am sent back to the playground.  My friends can stay.

Year 3 - I am a snowflake, we are doing the Nutcracker.  I have a floaty white costume and I twirl and dance beautifully.  Someone knocks the Christmas tree and lots of decorations fall off,  Tracey says it was me.  I am cross and say it wasn't, but everyone is staring at me afterwards.  Laura says she can see my pants through my costume.  I am cross with mummy for putting me in navy pants, she smiles and tells me how well I did.  She didn't notice the decorations fall off.

Year 6.  We are auditioning for Snow White.  I refuse.  My teacher asks me to 'just read the witch's part' so that Joanne can audition for Snow White.  I make a very scary witch.  The next day I am cast as Snow White.  Jenny teases me and says I'll have to kiss Ian who is the prince.  I cry and refuse to do it.  But something has changed in me.  After Christmas I write and direct a play for my class.

Year 7 - I am cast as Cinderella.  I am supposed to kiss Prince Charming Paul, but we just skip that bit.

It just kept on going from there, I loved Drama at secondary school, I studied it at University and I became a Drama teacher.  It took me time, and lots of encouragement to find my confidence.  And a teacher who cleverly tricked me into performing when the spotlight was elsewhere. 

Confidence is a delicate little bird, it needs to be nurtured and released slowly into the world.  I took Miss L to a drama workshop recently that was about play rather than performance and she absolutely shone.  I know performing is a useful skill, but sometimes it heaps on a whole load of pressure on where it just isn't needed.

Thanks for reading, looking forward to reading the other posts :)

Can toddlers do irony?

I have been trying to pinpoint recently why life has seemed a bit
easier. I think just 4 and nearly two are both slightly easier ages,
(than newborn and terrible two or nearly three and nine months).
Miss L is really enjoying drawing. She is really good at it. There are
lots of skills she hasn't mastered, scooting, cycling and gross motor
skills have caused her no end of frustration. Her key worker told me
the other day in no uncertain terms that catching a ball is not her
forte. But she has always enjoyed fiddly stuff, my doll's house,
playmobil, drawing. What drives me mad is that she never wants to
draw with me. She will produce masterpieces at pre-school or when I am
not around. She came home from pre-school yesterday and made four
butterfly pictures. But if I ask her to draw a picture, normally for a
thank you or birthday card, she refuses. My OH reckons this is just
her 'artistic temperament'. In fact there is lots of artistic
temperament in our house and creative stuff normally gets quite heated,
too many cooks as they say. I thought it would be the part I would
most enjoy about parenting but I think I am just a frustrated kid. I
have to get on with my own painting and sticking alongside the kids to
stop myself interfering with their work. I watch other kids at
playgroups asking their parents to help them. Miss L would never allow
that.
She's starting to play with drawing numbers and letters. She will let
me help with that, although coaxing her through the frustration that
goes with that is an art. It really took me back, I think I can
remember being her age and being half desperate to learn and utterly
frustrated with trying to coordinate brain and hand. But it's an
exciting new phase and I love it so much more than the terrible twos.
Mr G is picking up new words every day and starting to put them
together. It's magic and I should be writing more of it down. Last
night as he gave his last half hearted shouts of Mama from his cot I
also swear I heard him say 'it's dark'. He also says cuddle and kiss -
he knows how to pull at the heartstrings. He's recently mastered share
and please, generally ironically, while stealing food or clutching a
toy he has just snatched. Apart from it being lovely to hear him
speaking it's also hilarious.
Just trying to make the most of it before we turn another corner,
which might be less straightforward!