I'm grateful for...

In anything but a normal week, the week between Mum's death and her funeral, I found this linky from Mummy from the Heart, my Mum taught me to do this 3 reasons to be cheerful exercise in my diary, so it seems fitting to join in.  I'm grateful for...

1.  The support of amazing people. My mum friends sorted out a rota for looking after the kids and delivered casseroles, chocolates, flowers and listening ears. Friends and family sent cards, texts, emails, flowers, plants, balloons, babysitting offers, memories and silly banter.  My best friend agreed to do the reading I want to do at the funeral but know I can't.  Blogging and tweeting friends sent me messages of support. Mr A keeps on loading the dishwasher, dressing the kids, clearing the trail of debris I leave behind me, letting me rant.

2.  Writing my Mum's eulogy has been very cathartic and helped me to make so much sense out of her life and death. My Dad, Aunt and brother and I worked together on it. I have learnt about Mum as child, a teenager, a mum, a play therapist, a wife. I can see the through lines in her life, how learning about nature at primary school led her to teach my children how to look for insects in the garden.

3.  My kids are showing their grief, talking,crying, playing about it very openly. Children are so honest about death, their attitude is actually very liberating to us adults.  Mr A bought Miss L a spider preserved in plastic, when she showed it to my Dad, she simply said 'it's dead'.  Initially we all exchanged uncomfortable looks, but as the afternoon moved on her openness really helped us to talk too.

This weekend she decided she wanted a 'Gran garden'.  I ummed and ahhed, where shall we put it, should we ask Grandad what to plant, when shall we do it, what plants shall we buy.  She wasn't having any of it, she saw some bulbs in the supermarket yesterday and some daffodil plants, put them all in the trolley before I could protest and this morning made me go outside and just started digging.  Mr G was soon happily popping bulbs in the holes we dug.

To be fair the bulb boxes said plant in Feb.  I don't know what will appear come May/June but I know it will make me smile, and if they don't appear we'll just go and buy some bedding plants.  To be fair if they haven't grown by next week she will probably demand we buy some plants anyway.  Four months is a long time when you're four.