Play Therapy Little Legacy 14/The Gallery

My mum worked as a playtherapist for the NHS. This month the British Association of Playtherapists sent a copy of her obituary, which they published in their magazine.  It was beautifully written and I am so grateful for it, but it wasn't easy to read. I don't know if you have ever read an obituary of someone you know. I hadn't. Obituaries are a glorious celebration of life and achievement, but as a document they feel so black and white, so final.

I am only just realising the impact mum had on the lives of so many families and children. Mum tended to play down her work, (just noticed the pun there, ridiculous but I'm keeping it). Through play, mum guided hundreds of children and families through difficult times.

My mum played tirelessly. It seemed to be effortless for her to get down to a child's level and be led by them. I've met few people so childcentred in their approach.  After teaching for many years she found her true vocation in play therapy.

This week I tried to take my son to pre school gymnastics. He took one look and ran out the door. At first I tried to pull him back, listening to some seriously dodgy, old school parenting voices in my head, saying I mustn't let him give up and that it was wrong to let him get away without trying.

And then I heard my mum's voice saying 'childcentred'.  So I followed him outside and let him swing in the railings. It wasn't gymnastics, but it was an impressive kind of parkour.  In fact I think he could be the next pre school parkour champion. Before long he had started digging and found a worm. Then a ladybird crawled across my bag and we sat together passing it back and forth between us giggling as it tickled us.

The sort of activities my mum absolutely relished. It is so easy to get lost in the sea of parenting voices, but this week I found my anchor.

Mum teaching L to search for insects

Little legacy is a remembrance project , a positive and creative space, to celebrate small things handed down by predecessors. Feel free to link up a little legacy you've been thinking about this week, or to leave one in the comments. Here's the code and here's more on Little Legacy.

<a href="http://www.aresidence.co.uk/p/little-small-thing-handed-down-by.html" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb402/aresidence/acorn2.jpg" border="0" alt="@AResidence "></a>

Pop over to the The Gallery at Sticky Fingers where the theme is inspirational people.

Mummy I want to go to the moon and you're not letting me

Photograph  by Jay Mountford

Last month the full moon was amazing.   As I left the hospital after visiting my mum it was waiting for me.  As I set off by car, from the West to the East of the country, it was there with me.  As I stopped on my way to pick up my children from their cousins it waited.  As we drove on it hovered in front of us.  And it captivated 4yo L.

L:              Mummy I want to go to the Moon
Me:           Do you? It's a long long way.
L:              Well I want to go.
Me:           You'll need a spaceship, and it will take years.
L:              I want to go.
Me:           Well maybe you need to go to astronaut school then.
L:              I want to go and L's mum* is going to take me. 
Me:           Is she?
L:              L's mum has been to astronaut school.
Me:           Has she?
L:              Yes!
*L is Miss L's best friend
                             [Pause]

L:              Mummy I want to go to the moon.
Me:           I know you do.
L:              Mummy I want to go to the moon!
Me:           I know but...
Me:           Mummy I want to go to the moon and you're not letting me!

So it continued, as onwards into the moonlit skies we drove, destined never to arrive at the moon.  She cried and she wailed and she told me it was all my fault.  Eventually thoughts of getting to the moon exhausted her and she joined Mr G in falling asleep. 

Which just left me, and the moon.  As we drove I told him a lot of stuff that night, about me, my mum and about being a mum.  There are some conversations you never want to forget. 


Thanks Cosmicgirlie/Jay for the photo.  Check out her amazing photos via her blog or her baby, children and wedding photography