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Alexander Residence: The Gallery - Mother Love

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

The Gallery - Mother Love

My first Mother's Day without my Mum wasn't any sadder for me than any day in the last few months. I didn't really think it would be, because in my experience grief doesn't really work like that.  A good friend told me it isn't easy to know how to grieve.  I think that's very true, and that sometimes people expect you to grieve in certain ways and at certain times, and it doesn't always follow.

I had a small wobble on Friday as opted out of Interflora's email reminder system for Mother's Day, which annoyed me as I know my mum found the commercial side of Mother's Day completely bemusing.

Perhaps it helped that we spent Mother's Day on a campsite. It  reminded me of the things that I enjoy best about being a mum, the things that my mum enjoyed too.  Being outdoors, playing in the sun, chasing chickens, tickling cats, waiting expectantly by rabbit holes, fishing with sticks, spying wildflowers, collecting stones and feathers and making pretend campfires.  My mum taught me to love nature and I am passing that lesson on.










I can't watch my children and not think of me and my little brother, we share the same birth order, the same age gap.  I watched my two play and thought about all the fun we had with mum.  While they were busy playing I picked some tiny wild flowers in her memory.

Then we returned to the caravan to a fry up cooked by Mr A.  


It was good to have a little bit of time and space to reflect on Sunday.  And to find a way to feel close to my family and my mum away from the hype.   As we drove back into suburbia there were lots of families spilling out of restaurants, all dressed up, carrying helium balloons and bouquets.  Maybe another year I'll be up for that, but this year simple was perfect.

Ths week The Gallery theme is Mother Love

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25 Comments:

At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous AlexanderResidence said...

Thank you x

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous mid30slife said...

A beautiful post. I'm glad you had a good mothers day, that has got to be especially tough.

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous Lexie Martin said...

sounds like a perfect mother's day to me x

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous AlexanderResidence said...

Thank you :)

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous CherishedByMe said...

I'm sorry it was a tough one for you.
Your idea of camping sounds fun to me and the fry up looks delicious! :)

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous LauraCYMFT said...

Those fried eggs look very good, much like my hubby makes! Mother's day is a lovely day to celebrate Mums but you are right, it isn't all about one day. Your Mother's day does sound like a perfect day though, I'm just sorry it was a sad one for you without your Mum.

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous AlexanderResidence said...

You are one wise lady Laura! I love your description of grief it's spot on. Will tell Mr A what you said about the eggs, he will be pleased.

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous AlexanderResidence said...

Thanks. Loved your post too. We make a lot of those!

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous AlexanderResidence said...

Thanks Jill. I suspect those days may come, but for now I will make the most of them being fearless of creepy crawlies.

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous AlexanderResidence said...

Absolutely, thanks for summarising my post so eloquently for me! Hope yours was good too.

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous AlexanderResidence said...

Spot on, it was very her. Hope yours was good too?

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous AlexanderResidence said...

Cheers lovely x

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous AlexanderResidence said...

Thank you :)

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous Laura said...

lovely lovely post - every day is mothers day. I'd also like to congratulate Mr A on those fried eggs! Where are the wizened black edges?
My experience of grief is it's a journey where your subconscience is in charge and you have to let it take you where it will, there isn't a timetable - you have to trust yourself. I think it sounds like you're doing a fantastic job of that.

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous helloitsgemma said...

this is perfect mother's day - being a family making memories, remembering.
love the photos, love the sentiment and always loving those pretend camp fires.

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous Jill Adams said...

I really love to read your blogs. Gorgeous photos. I can't be doing with commercialism and crowds either. Unfortunately my daughter is a real girly girl and is terrified of spiders and creepy crawlies that might lurk in holes otherwise I'd be there! Jill

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous Herding Cats said...

Personally a quiet Mother's Day to think and reflect on those you love and those who are no longer with us is far better then all the glittery helium balloons in the world xxx

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous Emma said...

What a lovely way to spend the day remembering your mum. I imagine it was far more her... It sounds like a perfect day to me! Emma

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous Kate G said...

Sounds far nicer than a restaurant packed with other peoples kids ;) You are doing great - hang in there. x

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous PippaD said...

A great series of photos and they are a credit to you and your Mum.

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous AlexanderResidence said...

Thanks Jenny, you've surely got your hands full, thanks for taking time to comment :) x

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous AlexanderResidence said...

It was, as perfect as can be. That's such a beautiful gesture. Children are amazing. Big hug, hope this week is okay for you x

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous Jennypaulin said...

Sounds like a lovely mothers day with your family. Wobbles are to be expected I know I would be the same, if I were in your shoes. It's nice that watching your children brings back such happy, if poignant, memories of your childhood. Xx

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:05 , Anonymous themadhouse said...

Sounds like a perfect day to me. We didn't do the restaurants or any of that either. We had a family day and my wobble came when the boys gave me cards for me nad ones they had made for mum too.

 
At 10 April 2011 at 14:08 , Anonymous Merry Raymond said...

I have a lot of sympathy; this Mother's Day, which should have been my first with 5 children, was desperate because our little boy had 'not been 1' the day before. Not having either parent in the country either, due to events that happened when he died, made it even worse.

Urgh. It's the down side of all these lovely smultzy celebrations - for a percentage, they'll always be a knife twister. But also, as you say, not really any worse. (I think that makes it worse.)

 

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